To be in a Dream
by Cessy
Summary: *Shounen-ai* Cloud has been having dreams lately, some of them have revealed things about him that he thought would stay hidden forever, and only his sworn enemy can show him the truth. (Written from Cloud's Point-of-view)
1. Meetings

TBIAD1

**To be in a Dream**   
**Chapter 1**   
**Story by: Cessy Angel**

  
  


My eyelids were becoming heavier, my breathing slower, yet even there I could hear someone say my name as I lost myself in a world of dreams. I did not want to go, because I felt my obligation to stay in the real world, with the one with whom I had given my life to. But that force, a unexplainable force, drove me deeper into myself, where I could no longer defend myself from the hidden truth... 

I opened my eyes, but I found myself unable to see anything. Only darkness, to my right, to my left, it enveloped me in its depths. I could still see my hand when I put it in front of my face, and I could see my whole body as if it were the middle of the day, yet beyond there was nothing more than darkness. 

Suddenly, I heard footsteps coming towards me. I didn't know from where they came, because they seemed to be coming from all around me, but I knew that only one person was coming towards me. I got up and peered into blackness, and I thought I saw a grey figure, then again, it could always be by imagination. 

"Cloud..." 

I whirled around at the sound of a voice calling me, although no one was there. That voice, I had heard it before, from my childhood to the encounter I had lived through what seemed years past. The sweetest melody could be the deadliest, but why did I find myself melting as it said my name, so gently and with a caring tone? 

"Cloud..." 

Again the voice called me. It sounded so close, almost as if the person had been directly behind me, his breath on my neck as it softly whispered into my ear. But this person wasn't just anyone. My long thought friend, my General while I was in SOLDIER, the one who killed my beloved Aerith, and the one I had killed with my own hands. 

"Sephiroth." 

His name now spoken, he appeared in front of me. Walking in such a slow pace, his long greyish hair flowing on each side of his body, his mouth not much as slightly curved, and his seemingly glowing emerald green eyes peering at me through the darkness. 

Yet he stopped just as he was two feet away from me, and his mouth finally curved into a soft smile, or maybe it was a grin. He looked up from his being, and pointed towards me, then turned around, compelling me to follow him. 

It wasn't much of an order, but I followed him without a word. I should have asked, and I knew that this was nothing more than a dream, and I followed him without saying anything, even though the questions in my mind were multiplying by every step. I wanted to go by his side, and every time I did try, he also advanced in a faster pace. Didn't he want to see me? 

In all of an instant, I saw that both of us were no longer in darkness, but with bubbles of air rising on every side, a faint mist of blue blurred my vision, and I saw that we were at the Ancient Capital. Not only that, but we were where Sephiroth had killed Aerith, and where I had buried her afterwards. 

We were nearing something, it was so white it shone with the help of a faint shimmer coming from the surface. No, it couldn't be, he couldn't possibly think of bringing me here. Yet now that I came closer, I could clearly see something that would certainly make this dream a nightmare. It was Aerith, only that her once beautiful skin gone, her green eyes lost in the wash of the small lake, and her long brown hair hanging from her skull. 

"No, Sephiroth, please don't bring me here..." I pleaded, but he only continued walking towards the skeleton, and stopped. I looked at him from where I stood, my knees shaking, my lower lip trembling. Even at this moment, I couldn't distinguish the feeling, be it anger, fear, or maybe my unableness to see the one that I had killed be living. 

He crouched over the skeleton, his green eyes peered at the skull while his fingers played along the form of the bones gently, each finger touching every bone over the skeleton. He whispered something that I couldn't hear, and out of nowhere, I saw Aerith as I had known her from the slums. Her face was now the same as she had been before, her hair long and loose around her body, and a pink dress matched the color of her lips. 

I was stunned by this, I looked at her, thinking she might rise up and smile at me, but I saw that she wasn't breathing, and that what Sephiroth was showing me was nothing more than a simple image. 

"Do you think she's beautiful?" 

His emerald eyes were now set on me even though his face stayed unemotional. His hand now framed her face, his index finger shaping her cheek and then sliding onto her lips. Yet his gaze never left mine. A face begging for an answer, or maybe it was just me. 

"What do you mean?" I was too confused to possibly give an answer for it. 

"Do you think she's beautiful?" He repeated, refusing to answer my question. 

I didn't know how to answer him. Why was he asking such a question? Why did it matter to him if I thought that Aerith was beautiful, the same as for Tifa. My head began to throb, all he was doing was to mess with my mind. I knew he was, and even though I knew he was, I still answered back. 

"I don't know. Maybe she was beautiful to me before, but what would it matter to now? She's dead. I'm married with Tifa, she is what I think it beautiful. What is the meaning for these questions? Why do you ask them?" My hand balled up while the blood rushed to my head. 

"So you think Tifa is beautiful, same as for this Ancient..." He looked disappointed, but then his head lifted and he got up. Walking towards me, I found myself unable to run, or to move. But he stopped only inches away from me, and his hand brushed my chin. "Do you think... I'm beautiful?" 

"What?" I could tell my eyes were looking at him intensely, I wanted to push him away from me, to push his questions away. Why would he ask me such questions? 

"Do you think I'm beautiful, Cloud?" Sephiroth's eyes seemed so alive then, his lips moved as if to coo me. His grip on my chin tightened, and now his face was directly in front of me. 

"I don't know..." It was true, I didn't know how to answer him. 

"There are many more things that you don't know Cloud. I will teach you. Don't think that your grudge against me is going to make things different. Forget everything, okay? Forget that you have killed me, because I am in front of you, aren't I? Come to me again Cloud. Promise me." 

My whole body shook, and I closed my eyes. But the force drove me to promise to him that I would come to see him again. This was a dream, how could I meet someone in a dream? Something inside myself told me that this wasn't the same Sephiroth I had encountered in the Northern Crater, but the Sephiroth I had met in SOLDIER. 

"Goodbye, Cloud. I hope to meet with you again soon." He said something under his breath, but I didn't hear it. I was already floating to the surface. My hand shot out to reach him, and I cried his name over and over again. 

All I saw was him reaching out to me, and then he closed his eyes and got engulfed by the darkness of the waters. All I could do was watch, and my eyes blurred from the light coming from above. This was a side of me I thought I had hidden away forever. But the truth would be shown to me later. Maybe too soon... 

"We'll meet again, Sephiroth. I promise you this." 

  
**Author's Note:** Liked it? Hated it? I know the first chapter isn't very long (I can never write long chapters...) Oh well. It took me a while to chose from which POV this fic would be from, and of course, it ended up being Cloud. Anyways, please leave feedback to tell me if I should change anything! Don't forget to review! 


	2. I only want to see you

TBIAD2

> **To be in a Dream**   
**Chapter 2**   
**Story by: Cessy Angel**

"Cloud?"

That voice... it wasn't _his_ voice.

"Cloud!"

A cold hand touched my shoulder and shook me. Why wouldn't it leave me alone? I wanted to stay in that dream, to be with him. So little people knew such feelings, ah, but I was different. I never asked to be, but I just was. And so I lived my life as another so that I would be taken as a normal person.

It shook me again, this time I opened my eyes, even though I would rather have them never open up again. A burst of light touched my eyes and I already felt them water. My hand shot up to block it, yet something was already shading my eyes.   
  
"Tifa...?" was all I was able to mumble.

I was finally able to look at her, worried whine-colored eyes, a half-opened mouth whispering my name while long strands of brown hair spilled over her shoulder and onto my bare chest. I winced, she looked very worried, and sometimes, I wished she would leave me alone. No one needs to worry for me. Why should they?

My hand reached to caress her cheek, and her face softened. She placed her head on my chest and whispered a few words that I couldn't understand. I sighed, my eyes wandering around the room. It was a simple room, nothing very special in value. Both of us had moved to Kalm after the incident, and we had bought this house since it was good to settle down a bit. Every once in a while, the whole group would meet up here, it was always good to see all of them.

They were also supposed to meet again here, today. Of all nights to have such dreams. Tifa looks at me as if she understands that it was nothing more than a dream, but I know that as soon as the others arrive, she'll share her suspicions with the others. And thus another ruckus will emerge.

I hid my frown and looked back at the ceiling. How strange it felt. My thoughts went back to the dream I had had earlier. So many questions filled my head, and yet, I didn't want any answers. I only wanted to feel. It wasn't much as to get my answers from Sephiroth... my General, but his caressing hand, the way he had touched my face so gently...

Tifa's hand brushed my arm, so harshly it seemed. She got up from the bed and walked towards the hallway, only wearing a small shirt and undergarments. I closed my eyes, if only I could escape from here. It wasn't that I didn't love Tifa, far from it, but something was missing.

"Cloud... you do know that the others are coming here today, don't you?" she yelled from downstairs. I didn't want to respond, only stay in this bed forever, or until sleep would consume me again.

"Yeah, I know."

I got up, even though I didn't want to, and got ready. The last thing I need is more suspicions from Tifa. But...

The sun shone so brightly today, and not even a cloud in the sky to disturb such a beautiful day. The town was active, people going here, going there. They almost seemed like a popular of ants, rushing to do things as if the world would come to a stop anytime soon.

Of course, it wouldn't. Not now atleast.

I sat on a bench outside the house, what else could I do but to look at the passing people? From far away, I could hear the Highwind coming nearer. That meant I would expect atleast Red XIII, Vincent, Cid and Barret. I didn't know about Yuffie, she didn't come to our last reunion. I heard she was traveling around the world, but who knows?

Tifa came and sat beside me, her shoulder brushing mine. I let my gaze follow the street as she nudged closer to me. She felt so cold, her skin, and so I put an arm around her and let her sit closer to me. Suddenly, as I looked back at her, I thought to see a tall silvered hair figure stand in her place, but I blinked, and the image went away.

"Cloud, are you feeling okay?" Her eyes begged me to tell her, but I couldn't. How could I have told her this? That I saw Sephiroth in a dream, and that he talked to me? And I knew that deep in her, hatred for Sephiroth grew every time I talked about him. Why couldn't they understand? He wasn't evil...

"No, I'm okay Tifa. Stop worrying." I kept whispering in her ears, and it almost seemed as if I was talking to thin air.

In a burst of violent sounds, Cid and Barret walked towards us, followed by the others, laughing loudly and hysterically. Vincent and Red XIII behind them, seemed a little embarrassed by their comportment. I don't blame them, I almost immediately dug my head in my hands.

"Yo!" Even halfway through town, they began their salutes. I couldn't believe them.

They came up on the gallery as both me and Tifa got up to greet them. I did feel good. To be with the ones we had long fought by. I even felt a faint smile forming on my face, when was the last time I had smiled?

In a rush of power, I suddenly felt lightheaded, and my head throbbed so badly I thought it would soon burst. My hand simultaneously clutched at my head. I could hear the voices around me shouting for things, and I couldn't hear them. My fingers fell numb, and soon the feelings in my legs left me. I saw the blue sky disappear into a pool of darkness.

It wasn't so bad. I would be able to sleep...

**Author's Note: **Again, sorry for the short chapter. I just wanted to introduce other characters! (No, it definitely wont be a Tifa x Cloud fic.) Anyways, this was a pretty boring chapter, don't you think? I'm sorry if it wasn't as great, I've been suffering from these headaches lately. ^_^;; Anyways, please review! 


	3. 

TBIAD3

**To be in a Dream**   
**Chapter 3**   
**Story by: Cessy Angel**

  


Darkness, it was the same all over again, but I couldn't help feeling anxious. My eyes closed, and my hands clenched while I seemingly floated in a non-excitant world. I wonder how everything would have happened if I hadn't existed, if all I would have done would be to float in blackened water and see the others run after Sephiroth. No, things would have been so much different. Sephiroth, he would never have had...

"I came back! Sephiroth!" I yelled, my body twisting in all directions. "I came back! Just like I promised! Where are you?" My eyes darted from left to right. This time, there were no footsteps, no white shadow, but I knew he was there. Why wouldn't he come out? Was he mad at me?

I gripped the shirt on my chest. My feet were running in nothing, I couldn't move anywhere! My hands reached out as if to take hold of what never was there. But after several tries, my hands touched something soft, something silky.

"Cloud, my Cloud..." He turned around and took me into his arms as if I were his child. My hands were enveloped with his hair, so soft they were. I looked upwards only to gaze into his eyes, those glowing, as if flowing with living energy, emerald green eyes. He gaze me a soft smile, when was the last time I had seen such a smile?

He cooed words of reassurance in my ear, and then put me back on my feet next to him. I never realized how tall he was! Then he turned away and grabbed by hand. I walked after him, a gently tug pulling me forward after each step.

"Where are you taking me?" My question didn't seem to have reached his ears. Maybe it did. I don't know. I waited a moment, debating if or if not ask him again. No answer came, and I was so curious! Just the same as the last time...

I shivered, even though it wasn't cold.

"I need to show you something, Cloud..." He said in a soft mumble.

What could he show me? Another chill ran through my back. There were some things I didn't want to see, and I prayed Sephiroth would not be the one to show them again to me. All those nightmares, they had happened so long ago. Most were a blur, and I wanted them to stay that way.

Sephiroth turned around and looked deeply into my eyes, his hands tightening around mine and he even bent down so his face would be directly in front of me. A shot of pain reached his eyes, but it only lasted a small moment.

"Do you remember... the day we first met?" He said, all of a sudden.

"Huh...?"

"That day, that mission..."

"The Wutaiin war..." The memory came back to me, but only in a blur. A day both precious and horrifying. "Why? Why do you want me to remember that day? Sephiroth, please tell me the meaning of this! Why are you–"

"I'm sorry..." His arm swung at me, and I didn't move. I couldn't move. The hit he gave me sent me flying across wherever it was where we were, and I hit what seemed like an invisible wall. I slumped against it, only then noticing that the wall I was against was the same as the one in Wutai. I wanted to run as far away from here, but it felt as if I was paralyzed, numb.

"Seph..iro..th... why...?" My words were slurred, but my body hurt so much!

He walked in front of me and crouched. His hand extended and his fingers closed around the contours of my face. Lowering his head, he closed his eyes and whispered. "Remember..."

"But I don't want to! Don't you understand, Sephiroth! I have no past! The one I had... it wasn't even my own, how am I supposed to remember if I don't even know if it's mine or not? All I can recall are nothing more than images, and with those I re-create what I think happened. Why do you want me to remember what isn't there?" I noticed that my vision was blurring. Could I be crying? Crying is for the weak! But I felt a tightening sensation in my throat, and warm silvery liquid streamed down my face.

He looked at me, his gaze never leaving my own. I saw a single shimmering tear fall from his eye, down his cheek, and onto my still hand. He opened his mouth, but no word came. His eyes closed and he spoke gently. "It's for your own good, Cloud. Or do you want to live your life as if it were an illusion? I only want to show them to you, so you will be prepared for the _moment_. Trust me, please. I would do nothing to hurt you. You are like my guardian angel."

"No. You have it wrong, there. It is you, Sephiroth, that is my guardian angel." I felt warmly saying that. I saw that a small smile had taken place on his gentle face. From the sky above, I saw a feather fly into his silver strands of hair. My hand moved, as if mechanically, and took the feather between my fingers. I brought it up to my mouth, where I felt its soft filaments tickle my lips.

Sephiroth didn't do anything else. He looked at the feather and back at me. "So angelic, Cloud! I can do nothing else but to show you what you were meant to see." He got up, and looked down at me. All of the strength left me, and I slouched against the wall.

My eyes widened and the feather left my hand and flew into the wind. "No! Not now!"

He bent down one last time, his hand was placed over my face. "You will enter a dream world deeper than this one. Cloud, make me proud and understand why I do this."

In all of an instant, I only saw blackness again. Sephiroth disappeared. I was lost again. And slowly, my body felt heavier, my mind felt as if it were slowly dying. It was even hard... to do something as easy as to think.

I bid my farewells to the real world, to my dream world, all because I knew I was going into something much deeper than that. Only I didn't know what.

  
***~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*** **Author's note:** Sorry for taking so long getting out this chapter! (A lot of homework and stuff) Ah... I've been reading way too many Ann Rice books this past month (notice from the point-of-vue?) I'll try getting chapter 4 out soon! Please review! 


	4. Enter this dreamworld...

TBIAD4

**To be in a Dream**   
**Chapter 3**   
**Story by: Cessy Angel**

  


It was with the bright lights coming from the early sun that woke me up. For several seconds I asked myself where I was, and then I remembered faintly what had happened earlier. But where was I now? I had a small idea, probably outside Wutai, but... where was Sephiroth? Had he left me here?

I did my best to stand up, I felt so weak. I didn't know if I had waken up, or if I was still dreaming. It seemed so real, but I knew the Wutai of today had changed. Was I in the old Wutai?

My hand brushed against the wall that was behind me as I slowly hoisted myself to my feet. It was warm, the sun shone heavily over the meadows beyond the gates. Heh, I didn't know a dream could have such sensations as heat and cold, Sephiroth had outdone himself. Wait, what was so humourous about this?

A young girl passed in the street, her mid-length brown hair blown away from her face as she ran out of the village in a small blue sun dress . She stopped suddenly as she was in the middle of a patch of pinkish flowers, no more than ten feet away from me, and looked back at me, her deep brown eyes looked at me as if I weren't there, but I was there.   
  
"Where am I?" I asked, my voice was low and cracked. I lifted my arm and reached into thin air.

She continued to look at me, then turned around and headed back into the village. Hadn't she seen me? But I was in front of her, she looked at me! Now I was confused and angered.

My back hurt, but I managed to stand up without leaning on the wall. The gate was open not far in front of me, and so I began to walk towards it. No, wait, when was the last time Wutai had a gate? It used to have one during the war, but that was a long time ago. Just what was going on?

As I entered the village, I found it much more lively than it once had. Sellers had small booths on each side of the street, where numerous people were scattering about. I made my way through the crowd, but something was bothering me. No one seemed to noticed I was there!

My shoulder bumped against an old lady, but she didn't turn around nor did she even said a word, it was as if I weren't there, and yet I _felt_ my shoulder bump into her. Now I was almost scared, my walk continued and once again I made certain that I brushed against one man's arm, but he did the exact same thing as the lady!

I began to run towards the Turtle's Paradise, occasionally pushing against another and finding the same reaction as before. I felt my heart race and my palms began to transpire. If I were to look into a mirror I would say that I look as if I had gone insane, but what was I to do?

The crowd was behind me, since I had entered somewhat the quieter part of Wutai. Only once or twice a small child would pass, but they would not paid any heed to me. Only once did I see the little girl in the blue sun dress, she kept looking at me as if I were there. But how could she look at me when everyone else could not? Maybe I was missing something...

A part of my hopes died as she gasped and ran away from where she was, heading towards the pagoda. I turned around, almost hesitantly, and I too gasped, be it in confusion or in happiness or in horror.

Face to face with me was Sephiroth, and he was grinning at me!

But this Sephiroth was different from the one in my dreams, he was different from the one in the Northern Crater and he was different from the one in Nibelheim. There was this gleam in his eyes.

"General Sephiroth, we have received news from Midgar." A somewhat small soldier dressed in a blue Shinra uniform came next to Sephiroth as he saluted him. In his right hand he held a opened letter and under his left arm lay his riffle.

"Yes?" Sephiroth asked cooly, but he continued to look at me. We couldn't have been more than two feet apart! But he turned his head around the face the soldier as he unfolded the letter and began to read.

"X Day/ X Month/ X Year,

Your mission will not commence until we give you notice. You will receive in less than a week the full details of the mission, but for now do some secretive observing as to what is Wutai's plan of attack. Be certain to inform us if there is any information that would be helpful for us. Do not bring any attention to yourselves. A rank B SOLDIER has been sent with more soldiers. He should arrive shortly."

The soldier stopped and looked back at Sephiroth.

"Is there any more?" He asked, looking down at the soldier's hands, in them laying another page, and on it a clipped on photo.

"Yes sir." He shuffled through the pages and handed out the one with the photo. I couldn't see it from where I stood, but I saw a grin appear on Sephiroth's usually cool face.

He lifted the picture off the page and looked at it for a while, then looked back onto the page. "Hm... rank B SOLDIER... from Nibelheim..."

He stopped, then turned away from the soldier. "And his name is Cloud Strife."

* * * 

  



End file.
